Let me just tell you...I have never been a "sick" child. I have never even broken any bones **knock on wood**, I get the occasional allergy sickness, or cold but never really anything serious. Oh, unless you count the time I got mono my senior year of high school. Now that wasn't fun.
I swear, "Oldness" has hit me. Hard. Like a ton of bricks hard. I have this little ol Dairy allergy, remember? Since that wasn't fun enough, I also have a bit of acid reflux and have to take a prescription twice a day. Don't you wish you were me? Doc said I could start to introduce some foods that contain dairy and with this take a Lactaid pill...doesn't this sound fun? I am a freaking walking Golden Girl. Move over Betty White...Lyndse is coming to take your spot. (I love Betty White btw; I mean how awesome is she?)
In my purse I carry with me at all times, a big bottle of Tums, my lactaid pills, acid reflux pills and Ibuprofen. I have an 84 year old woman’s medicine cabinet with me at all times.
If this wasn't bad enough, I went to the dentist this week for my check up and teeth cleaning. The hygienist who must be new, because I have never seen her...tells me that I have very pretty teeth, why thank you--my parents paid good money for these pearly whites---but only from the outside. The outside? What the hell does that even mean lady?
She goes on to tell me that, "For a 26 year old you have the teeth of an older lady."
Of course I do!
What she means by this is, my teeth are very sensitive and prone to cavities more than the average person. I told her she might as well just sign me up for dentures, because at the rate I am going I will need them when I enter the old folk’s home to hang out with my fellow peeps. Oh, I also had to buy special toothpaste. $12.00 toothpaste. Really? I wonder how much dentures are.
Good grief, at this rate I am going to need depends.
6 comments:
lmao...this really cracked me up. Yes, your purse really cracks me up though. It's a good thing that you carry a very large purse for all the granny meds. Love you sis. You can say that you didn't get that from me--only the allergy thing.
Growing old sucks for say. I guess i'm lucky that i didn't start falling apart until after 40. Yes, i have food allergies and a bad bladder thing going on and the occasional back issue(the last two really sucks this week btw).
Since this is happening to you know turning 40 will be a breeze to you. We can always blame papa for this. We seem to get all his bad things(but we love you lots anyway).
lmao...this really cracked me up. Yes, your purse really cracks me up though. It's a good thing that you carry a very large purse for all the granny meds. Love you sis. You can say that you didn't get that from me--only the allergy thing.
Growing old sucks for say. I guess i'm lucky that i didn't start falling apart until after 40. Yes, i have food allergies and a bad bladder thing going on and the occasional back issue(the last two really sucks this week btw).
Since this is happening to you know turning 40 will be a breeze to you. We can always blame papa for this. We seem to get all his bad things(but we love you lots anyway).
sorry about posting twice the damn button got happy i guess this morning.
This made me chuckle. Perhaps it's just a little quarter life crisis and it will blow over. You'll probably be the healthiest 80 year old ever because you're getting all of this nonsense out of your system at the ripe young age of 26. <3 ya!
-Honey
This is cracking me up! Love your blog... I'm from OK and went to OSU too!
Oh my gosh......you're freaking hilarious!
~Miss Football
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