Let me just tell you...I have never been a "sick" child. I have never even broken any bones **knock on wood**, I get the occasional allergy sickness, or cold but never really anything serious. Oh, unless you count the time I got mono my senior year of high school. Now that wasn't fun.
I swear, "Oldness" has hit me. Hard. Like a ton of bricks hard. I have this little ol Dairy allergy, remember? Since that wasn't fun enough, I also have a bit of acid reflux and have to take a prescription twice a day. Don't you wish you were me? Doc said I could start to introduce some foods that contain dairy and with this take a Lactaid pill...doesn't this sound fun? I am a freaking walking Golden Girl. Move over Betty White...Lyndse is coming to take your spot. (I love Betty White btw; I mean how awesome is she?)
In my purse I carry with me at all times, a big bottle of Tums, my lactaid pills, acid reflux pills and Ibuprofen. I have an 84 year old woman’s medicine cabinet with me at all times.
If this wasn't bad enough, I went to the dentist this week for my check up and teeth cleaning. The hygienist who must be new, because I have never seen her...tells me that I have very pretty teeth, why thank you--my parents paid good money for these pearly whites---but only from the outside. The outside? What the hell does that even mean lady?
She goes on to tell me that, "For a 26 year old you have the teeth of an older lady."
Of course I do!
What she means by this is, my teeth are very sensitive and prone to cavities more than the average person. I told her she might as well just sign me up for dentures, because at the rate I am going I will need them when I enter the old folk’s home to hang out with my fellow peeps. Oh, I also had to buy special toothpaste. $12.00 toothpaste. Really? I wonder how much dentures are.
Good grief, at this rate I am going to need depends.
