Tuesday, June 21, 2011

What I've learned

 Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. Carrie-Sex and the City

I am not claiming to be an expert on relationships by any means, after all I am still single. I think by choice, and you will see why in a few minutes. I do think though, I have a pretty good perspective on what it is I am looking for and what things I do want and know for sure that I don't want in a future husband. Some say I am picky, I digress. 

I have dated or gone on some dates with  very interesting characters. Which proves that I do go outside the box, and not just stick to my picky ways. See this mom, I DO give people chances...it's not my fault they have issues.

Moving on to the reason of this post, I thought I would give y'all a few examples from my dating life. Kinda of like my own version of "What not to wear" except we will call it, "Who not to date."

Ok, here we go...just a few.

1. Don't mix religions. This should be an obvious thing. I am a christian so it is highly un-likely that I will date a non-christian. Even when dating a christian make sure you believe in the same things, like I don't know, electricity for one and cars. Last summer I dated a used to be fellow of the Amish kind, who was super nice and cute. He did have electricity and a truck, but still the idea that one day if I was to marry him (big if) and he decided to revert back to his old ways and take my electricity from me...we would have issues. Call me spoiled, but I like lights, ac/heat oh and my chi.

2. Don't date a serial killer. Ok, so he wasn't a serial killer, but apparently he was arrested in another state for nearly killing someone. How I did not know this prior to said date, beats me. Ladies, extensive back ground checks are a must.

3. Don't meet guys at biker rallies. See previous statement above.

4. Don't date a pretty boy. First things first, usually a pretty boy is well, pretty. Nice body, nice abs, nice arms...you get me? I am a girl, obvs. I like to take my time to get ready, which I can, because I am a girl. If a guy takes longer to get ready to go out than I do. We have issues. Also, if they change their fb profile picture 20 times a day, I think they have issues.

5.  Don't date a guy you meet while on vacation. Let's just say what happens in Vegas, should stay in Vegas and not follow you back to Oklahoma. No matter how many times they call you, "Darling" and "Sweet heart"...my bff honey knows exactly what I am talking about.

6. Don't date a guy who lives in a fifth wheel. Let me start by saying there is nothing wrong with a person living in a fifth wheel, I just didn't know how to title this. Basically, he worked on the road and that was his home, which is cool. But, when you only go on like two dates and you want me to talk to your mother on the phone and she is excited to meet me when I come to Louisana in a few weeks for her birthday. Umm...I never agreed to that, and you are crazy. Thank you.

7. Don't even start to date a guy who only talks about how cool your dad is. I have nothing to say to this, because I lost interest in him when he was only interested in talking about my dad. Go figure.

8. Don't date someone that resembles a really hot actor. Remember that they are not said famous person and they still live at home.

9. Don't date someone who loves their tractor more than you. I believe this situation only happens in Oklahoma.

and last but not least...

10. Don't date someone just to date someone...stick to your guns single ladies and don't settle for anything less than you deserve.

**Disclaimer** If you are currently dating/married to a guy with a different religion than you, and he is a hot, pretty boy that drives a tractor and y'all met at a biker rally and you are completely ok that he is totally enamored with your dad...then more power to you. I wish you nothing but happiness. These are just cases were it didn't work for me : )

Peace and love peeps! 



mom said...

lol...i forgot--who was the one that only talked about "r"? you can text me.

Hell--you has to kiss alot of different toads to find your prince and that is what you are doing. Sometimes the prince isn't a toad at all but an ass.

Jodie said...

I LOVE this!! :)

Tiffany said...

OMG. LOVE LOVE LOVE this. I was not aware of the murderer...WTH!?! And #8 almost made me fall out of my chair laughing. Love it.

~Miss Football