Friday, May 13, 2011

Kissing Frog Friday...the beginning

"As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal finds herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going." Sex and the City.

Happy Friday loves, and welcome to the first installment of "Kissing Frogs Friday." I'd like to think I have picked up a few things about dating and relationships along the way in my 26 years. Maybe I haven't. This could explain why I am still single. Who knows. In case you missed the reason behind this post, go back here.

I think I should start at the beginning...back to the year of 1989 when this little blonde okie was about five years old, and acid wash jeans, scrunchies and bright neon clothes were still in style. This way we can figure out exactly why it is that I am still single. 

I remember my first boyfriend, he was my next door neighbor. Lived right across the street. Isn't that always how it is, your first boyfriend is always either down the road from you or right across from you...pretty much in the same vicinity. In only they were that easy to find now...if they were, you probably wouldn't be reading this here post.  Of course, the word "boyfriend" meant boy who was your friend who you played tag or hide and go seek with, drew pictures or colored. Sometimes we would play house. I was the mom and he was the dad and we would have make-believe babies. I was in Kindergarten. He might have been in first grade, not sure...I like em' older. He was from Germany and I loved going over to their house and eating the yummy German food that his mom would cook. Maybe, this is where my love for Sauerkraut started? Things were all well and good until one day...he up'd and moved. That my friends was the first time a boy ever left me. Just left me heartbroken. I had to play house all by myself, look after my make believe children and continue making my mud pies, sans man. Your first heartache is brutal...

I moved on, of course, how could I not. I was looking good in my pigtails and hair bows...the bigger the better, I went to school with my My Little Pony lunch box and was off to find me a new man. I found one, I believe his name was Zach. I don't really remember, I was only six years can't be expected to remember every guy you date at that age, right? I don't remember if it was a Christmas program or what kind of program it was, but the elementary school that I went to had a program...where I had to square dance. That in and of itself is a different blog for another day, but let me tell you, I've got moves. I can shake what my momma gave me with the best of them.

Anyway, I swear this story that I am about tell you, my Papa tells it All. The. Time...he said he wishes he had a video camera that night, because he would have won the 10,000 dollars. Is the suspense killing you? Are you dying to know what happened? Ok, here goes it. That night us little ones, were supposed to square dance in this program. I was up there doing my thang...just a dancing and entertaining away with my partner/boyfriend. One little girl's partner didn't show up, therefore she didn't have someone to dance with. This little bitch decided that she wanted to take my man. My man? I don't think so honey! She then proceeded to snatch  my dancing partner away from me. I was left there all alone. In the middle of the stage. Partner less. I stood there for a minute. Arms crossed, leg tapping. My papa says that I looked at the audience than looked back at her and my dancing partner and marched right over there, pushed her away and grabbed my partner like he was the last man on earth.NO ONE and I mean NO ONE takes my man and gets away with it. No ma'am.

You don't mess with five year old Lyndse. You don't steal her man.

So you see all before first grade, I lost a boyfriend and had one stolen from me. Brutal times I tell ya. Brutal.

Fast forward 21 years, I have had more boyfriends move away so to speak and I have had some taken from me...I guess I just no longer have the same fight in me as five year old Lyndse did or maybe I just haven't found anyone worth fighting for.



Anonymous said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this. You've still got that fight in you - maybe you just haven't found the one worth fighting for.

Love the post and love YOU.


Tiffany said...

Oh my gosh.....LOVE this. Seriously hilarious! I can't wait for every Friday's post, but honestly, I don't know how you'll do better. We're going to find the guys worth fighting for and we'll push down any girl who tries to steal them from us! :)

~Miss Football

mom said...

i think we have a picture of you standing there with arms crossed. i think it is at nana and papa's. Yes, it was a priceless moment. LOL

You have to kiss alot of toad frogs to find the one. It also depends on what kind of toads you kiss.